{"id":21761,"date":"2021-01-27T09:31:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-27T17:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/?p=21761"},"modified":"2021-01-27T10:36:30","modified_gmt":"2021-01-27T18:36:30","slug":"reconciliation-a-far-better-choice-than-victimhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/reconciliation-a-far-better-choice-than-victimhood\/","title":{"rendered":"Reconciliation a far better choice than victimhood"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>By Rev. Paul Graves<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap dropcapp3\">As I watched the inauguration ceremony Wednesday, I was also pondering this column about victimhood. So, I couldn\u2019t help but think of the Jan. 6 riot that began in the very place the new president would be sworn into office. What an incredible contrast that very spot represented!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From my perspective, those Capitol building invaders were victims of who-knows-what, victimizing democracy as they destroyed federal property, hurt people and hunted down elected officials. Again, in my view, they had let themselves be victimized by political lies and manipulations that perhaps fed their longtime sense of being victims of something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Their choice to attack the Capitol building was designed to spew their hatred of \u201cwhatever\u201d in the vilest way possible. They destroyed property, but democracy wasn\u2019t victimized. It stood tall and resilient on Inauguration Day. As did our new president, Joe Biden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>President Biden was victimized decades ago, when his wife and children were killed; and again in 2015, when his son Beau died of cancer. In spite of his personal tragedies and political defeats, Joe Biden continues to choose to not be a victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And his speech signaled neither has democracy. \u201cWe have learned again that democracy is precious. Democracy is fragile. And at this hour, my friends, democracy has prevailed,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Victimhood is a confounding place to live. It invites us to live there in the most visceral, personal ways, even in our mothers\u2019 wombs on occasion. But we\u2019re also invited to live in victimhood as part of our society, or a group we identify with. All of us, in some way or another, has experienced being a victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But how we choose to respond makes all the difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Consider your own victim experience. Does it push you to separate from others, or even from yourself? Does it prompt you to \u201creconcile\u201d \u2013 restore a relationship \u2013 with others, or even yourself? Either choice is very possible. Both may even happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Separated victims share some common characteristics: they easily blame others, don\u2019t take personal\/social responsibility, disrespect others who don\u2019t look or act like them even to the point of feeling morally superior, and may become a victimizer, when their fear and anger feel uncontrollable. This looks simplistic, and perhaps is overstated. But there is enough documented evidence about victimhood to confirm some truth here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Victims may even identify with Adam, of Genesis fame. He hid while God strolled in the Garden of Eden. \u201cWhy did you hide?\u201d God asked. Adam: \u201cBecause I was afraid, because I was naked.\u201d (Gen. 3:9-10).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fear is a primary motivator of victimhood. But there\u2019s so much more in the Bible than victimhood. Consider: All of Jesus\u2019 ministry makes reconciliation, restoration, the better choice!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Reconciled\/restored victims also share some common characteristics. Some who begin as separated victims find themselves somehow awakened to realize they don\u2019t want or need to stay hateful, fearful or angry anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They slowly accept reality. They\u2019re able to reach out to others for help, for caring contact. They find purpose beyond their self-absorbed reason for living in the victimhood. It\u2019s usually a very destructive neighborhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think of close friends and family members who were victimized in the past and found new purpose beyond victimhood. I think of COVID-related tragedies, of organizations including Wounded Warriors or children\u2019s hospitals, where victims become reconciled\/restored victims, finding ways to embrace their new reality in loving ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope separated victims can find a trickle of restoration in their hearts that turns in a flowing stream, so they are no longer drowning. God didn\u2019t see Adam as a victim. No one is a victim separated from God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our job is to realize that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Rev. Paul Graves<\/strong>&nbsp;serves as the chair for the Council on Older Adult Ministries for the Pacific Northwest Conference of The United Methodist Church.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our response to difficulties in life can make all the difference according to Rev. Paul Graves. In his post, Graves reflects on recent events, lifting up a path for finding new meaning and reconciliation post hardship and tragedy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21762,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[84,74,16],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-21761","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-nurturing-elders","8":"category-opinioneditorial","9":"category-pacific-northwest-conference"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Reconciliation a far better choice than victimhood - Greater Northwest Area | News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/reconciliation-a-far-better-choice-than-victimhood\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Reconciliation a far better choice than victimhood - Greater Northwest Area | News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our response to difficulties in life can make all the difference according to Rev. 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