{"id":24979,"date":"2026-10-26T18:17:56","date_gmt":"2026-10-27T01:17:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/?p=24979"},"modified":"2026-10-26T18:17:57","modified_gmt":"2026-10-27T01:17:57","slug":"love-needs-a-backbone-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/love-needs-a-backbone-too\/","title":{"rendered":"Love needs a backbone too!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">By Rev. Paul Graves<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"dropcapp3 wp-block-paragraph\">Imagination time, folks: Jesus walks up to Jonah sitting by a bush near Nineveh. Jonah\u2019s having a childish tantrum because God forgave the sinful people of Nineveh. (Jonah 4:1-11). Jonah knew God would forgive the Ninevites, so his anger was directed at God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So Jesus asks God\u2019s question of Jonah: \u201cIs it right for you to be angry?\u201d Then Jesus challenges Jonah to \u201clove your enemies\u201d (Matthew 5:43-44). Now! Hear Jesus ask you that same question when it\u2019s so hard to love your own enemies!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jesus may have coined \u201clove your enemies,\u201d but he certainly didn\u2019t originate the idea. Traditions before Jesus had adopted God\u2019s credo. Predictably, too many people pick it up and discard it immediately. We live in a culture that too often celebrates vengeance, retribution and cruelty. Today, Jesus\u2019 \u201clove your enemies\u201d sounds just plain stupid to so many.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And that\u2019s why we who try to love our enemies need to grow stronger backbones! Too often, we fail to live out that ethical call. And yet, we hear Jesus\u2019 call. And we\u2019re challenged to live it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps today, Jesus would understand his challenge now embraces neuroscience. We are physiologically hardwired to react to perceived enemies and\/or threats. We literally have deep-seated survival \u201con the brain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m sure he would know that. But he also would know there are ways to re-pattern our brains to modify those survival instincts in healthy ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jesus never denied the existence of enemies. Instead, he offered a radically different way to respond to enemies, personal and social.<br>He didn\u2019t dismiss enemies like we might want to. <em>Instead, his love had a backbone we often dismiss \u2013 perhaps because we misunderstand what \u201clove\u201d Jesus lived out. It was far more action \u2013 \u201cdo love\u201d! \u201cFeel love\u201d was less important!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Both historically and currently, there have been cultures that were\/are peaceful. I refer you to a thoughtful article from 2021, \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/thebulletin.org\/2021\/03\/peaceful-societies-are-not-utopian-fantasy-they-exist\/\">Peaceful societies are not utopian fantasy. They exist.<\/a>\u201d By Douglas P. Fry. It\u2019s a helpful and stark reminder that some societies do not deny that fear exists. But those societies choose to respond to personal and cultural fears in peaceful ways!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s what Jesus encourages us to do (Matthew 5:38-47, Luke 6:27-36. Additionally, Matthew 18 is a strong description of ways to transform anger toward an enemy rather than to direct your anger at anyone with whom you disagree.<br>Pick any deeply personal fear or anger you have. Pick any cultural fear or anger you have. Then read these Gospel passages. Let yourself seriously reflect on Jesus\u2019s call to \u201cLove your enemies\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jesus told his followers to love their enemies so they reflect the character of God, who shows kindness to both good and evil people.&nbsp;Jesus instructs followers to replace desires of violent retaliation or revenge with radical, root-deep grace, patience, and nonresistance.<br>It can be so hard to love your enemies! Human instincts drive us to protect ourselves, seek fairness, and retaliate when we are hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>When does love need a backbone (LNAB)?<\/strong> Initially, our LNAB is to understand that the \u2018love of power\u2019 is not about love, but the \u2018power of love\u2019 is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Undocumented parents\u2019 LNAB when sending their children\/teens to school. Family members\u2019 LNAB when confronted by hardened attitudes of other family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Protestors\u2019 LNAB when saying only \u2018thank you\u2019 to angry bystanders who are rigid and crude. Individuals\u2019 LNAB when confronted by division caused by personal \u201cbullhorns\u201d rather than reason-based backbones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My LNAB when I fear my political concern is all alone. Our LNAB to claim our political conscience and then VOTE it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When does your LNAB? Who can help you find it? Love your enemies!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>The Rev. Paul Graves<\/strong>&nbsp;is a retired elder member of the Pacific Northwest Conference of The United Methodist&nbsp;Church.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What would Jesus say to Jonah, sulking because God forgave Nineveh? In this reflection, the Rev. Paul Graves argues Jesus\u2019 call to \u201clove your enemies\u201d requires a backbone: love expressed in action, not just feeling. Drawing on Scripture, neuroscience and peaceful societies, Graves invites readers to name their fears and ask where love needs courage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":24981,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[74,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-opinioneditorial","category-pacific-northwest-conference"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Love needs a backbone too! - Greater Northwest Area | News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/greaternw.org\/news\/love-needs-a-backbone-too\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Love needs a backbone too! - Greater Northwest Area | News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What would Jesus say to Jonah, sulking because God forgave Nineveh? 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