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Invited to a Holy Conversation

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By Rev. Paul Graves

I often get impatient with how we use the same old words in the same old way. Then I wonder if those words might have other meanings.

I put “holy” and “conversation” in that category. Normally, they wouldn’t go together, as in “Holy Conversation”. But today they do. And here is why:

“Holy” suggests something sacred. But years ago, I discovered that it also means “different”. Try that word-substitution in a favorite hymn, and you might see “holy”, well, differently. 

In recent years, I also discovered that “Conversation” is more than a verbal dialogue. From the mid-14th century, it has also meant “to live with, keep company with.”

So, conversation is more than talking. It has to do with how we live with one another, relate to one another. Therefore, a Holy Conversation requires a different level of personal and social awareness, of attention, and of humility. 

Dialogue, yes. Relationships, yes. So, let’s reflect on Holy Conversation as a different, sacred way of living together.

The implications seem endless. What would a Holy Conversation within your family look like? How would you live with each other in ways that are “different” than how you live together now?

If you were invited to a Holy Conversation with folks in your faith community, how would your discussion be “different”? Might it include how you all might live together as a congregation? How might you serve people in your community?

My hunch is that you’ve likely already had Holy Conversations with your spouse, or children, or best friend, or even a stranger. But maybe you never thought of those conversations as being different, even sacred, ways of living together. Ordinary connections can often become very Holy Conversations.

Every day, we walk on different holy ground and take it for granted. That walk may be a stop at a dining table to say hello to a neighbor. It becomes a holy moment for you both because you share a different perspective on what living together as neighbors means in that moment.

A resident of our retirement community recently mentioned that he was on the campus of Kent State on May 4, 1970, during the killings of 4 students by Ohio National Guard members. He showed us a book with his photo standing a short way from one of the wounded students. As I read his book, my own news-based memories of that horrible event came alive.

Suddenly, our fairly casual dining lunch visit took a different (and sacred) turn – at least for me. After 56 years, he’s still impacted by that day.

And now we live together in the same building and see each other nearly every day. His experience has become embedded in our relationship. We don’t need to talk about May 4 to know it’s there. I value that Holy Conversation we now share!

I Peter 1: 13-16 is a section where the writer calls his readers to “holy living.” His assumption of what is holy may well be different (yes!) than mine. But I wonder how you might invite vs.16 into your own reflection space by using “different” in this version offered in The Message:

“As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, ‘I am holy; you be holy.’

For you, what would your life “blazing with holiness-difference” look like? Feel like? How holy-different is your understanding of God from other gods you might be prone to follow? How does your different-holy God lead you into a Holy Conversation, a living differently – together with others?


The Rev. Paul Graves is a retired elder member of the Pacific Northwest Conference of The United Methodist Church.

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