By Rev. Paul Graves
When you read this column, think of me sitting in our new home in Hillsboro, Oregon!
Sue and I just moved on March 14 into a new retirement community in downtown Hillsboro, and only five minutes from our son and daughter-in-law. Being close to family was our reason for leaving Sandpoint after 36-plus years. Bittersweet. Still, a geezer-like adventure!
Merrill Gardens is a seven-story apartment building. We live on the fourth floor looking west with an enjoyable view of the coastal mountain range. The ocean is about 90 minutes from our new home. Our first days have been filled with unpacking boxes, eating delicious food in the dining room and meeting our new companions in this new life chapter.
Adding to the value of this column (to me anyway) is that this edition begins my 30th year writing Faith and Values columns for The Spokesman-Review. I’ve been given editorial encouragement to keep writing it, so let’s hope I can write at least until my 30th year is complete.
My spiritual journey in this role has been so important to my well-being, and apparently to many readers over the years. I’m both thankful and humbled. Let’s keep encouraging each other.
Fortunately, on the journey to our new home in Hillsboro, we brought with us stories in every box. I counted 115 boxes of various sizes that were put on the moving van. In every box, there were stories and parts of stories that gave meaning to our lives in Sandpoint (and so much earlier).
Spiritual nurturing comes from where meaning is absorbed into our memories. Those memories always create a kind of inner terrain shaped by our experiences and our reactions/responses to those experiences. So, Sue and I put more than books, or kitchen accessories, or spools of thread – for quilting beautiful art – into our moving boxes.
Because we had to downsize “stuff” for our new home, we had to choose what we would take with us that was both practical and memory-keeping, for the new chapter in our lives. Art quilts, photos and paintings were also “triaged” so we could bring memories with us that were still of significance to us.
The stories in every box and the wall hangings we brought with us weren’t just things. They embodied memories we wanted to – well, remember. I’d like to think we brought memories with us that will be important to us in the next year, or five years, or however long we need them.
The whole idea of down-sizing was at play in our preparation.
Most older adults are confronted with the challenges that brings. It’s usually prompted by a move to a smaller home.
But down-sizing is necessary at different ages for different reasons. The more spiritual term for it is “letting go.”
Contrary to what you may think, Elsa’s beautiful song “Let It Go” in the animated movie “Frozen” didn’t invent the concept of letting go of things or relationships that matter less than they used to. It’s an ancient, contemplative concept she simply sang into our cultural consciousness.
To let go of something (or someone) you used to consider important isn’t a denial of the memory you hold there. It simply reshapes your inner terrain a bit, with the hope that the journey is more nourishing – maybe easier? – for you in this moment of your life.
The challenge? Decide which stories you pack up and take with you. Decide which stories hold the memories that nourish your God-given value – and life-meanings – as you gaze down your journey’s road.
The Rev. Paul Graves is a retired elder member of the Pacific Northwest Conference of The United Methodist Church.
